The Last Night To Be Brave
by an-alternate-world
Summary: He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 2,105  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ in later chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>It was a week before school resumed and Rachel had decided to throw a pool party. The weather was glorious and sunny, which meant Kurt had firmly opted to stay indoors and assist with food preparation, spouting off about sunburn and pool water damaging his delicate clothing. Blaine had nodded and smiled and shooed him back inside, although it left him with various New Directions members that he didn't really know.<p>

Puck, Mike, Quinn, Brittany and Tina were splashing about in the pool and every now and then, Finn would appear and cannonball into the deep end, spraying Artie with water. But spirits were high so Artie wasn't particularly annoyed. Not like Kurt would have been.

Staring at the empty deckchair beside Santana, Blaine debated sitting next to the girl known as the spitfire of New Directions. He bit his lip and glanced inside the house where Kurt was helping prepare lunch, and then back at Santana. She seemed so peaceful laying back with her sunglasses on and soaking up the rays of the Lima sun, and yet he had noticed hardly anyone spoke to her today. He wondered if she was lonely. He wondered if she'd talk to him. Somewhat nervously, he ventured over and reclined onto the chair beside her.

"Hey Santana," he said, slipping on Kurt's Aviators and reclining, feeling like a lizard as he soaked up the sun.

"Hobbit," she acknowledged, dipping her head but keeping her eyes closed.

"Hey, now!" Blaine protested. "What is it with everyone and the hobbit thing?"

"Short. Curly hair. Everyone _knowing _Frodo was totally gay for anyone and everyone."

Blaine scowled and then relaxed his face. He could hear Kurt's voice in his head: '_Frowning will give you wrinkles, Blaine. I won't date a boy with man-wrinkles!_' At least he didn't scowl _too _much…

"Fine. So I'm a hobbit," he sighed. "Are you looking forward to returning to school?"

"No," Santana said.

"Why?"

"Look, I don't know you apart from being Kurt's boy. And I'm not about to get all chummy with you just because you're in his pants, okay? You still go to your preppy school and I still go to ditchwater McKinley and let's just leave our lives as separate," Santana spat. Blaine blinked. Kurt had warned him about her temper but he hadn't expected a tirade over such a simple question.

He fell silent, figuring it would be better to say nothing. Although he didn't know Santana, he knew with Kurt's moods that he would open up if you were quiet.

After at least ten minutes, she sighed quietly and turned her head to face him. He could see her eyes behind the glasses but he looked back. "I don't want school to end. Everyone is going to go their various ways and I don't know what I want to do. I don't know where I'll end up or who will give a shit about me long enough to keep in touch. I'm scared," she admitted softly.

"We all are," Blaine offered. "I know Kurt is terrified and I know Finn is worried about Quinn and Rachel and Puck. I am too. I know Kurt wants to go to New York with Rachel but I know Finn is wary of it. But the decisions to be made are a year away."

"Whatever," Santana said. There was silence for a few minutes, in which Quinn shrieked as Puck tried throwing her in the water. Blaine smiled when Puck succeeded and thrust his arms with victory. "Was it hard?" Santana spoke suddenly.

Stamping down on the innuendo, Blaine needed clarification. "Uh, was what hard?"

"Coming out. To your parents. What was it like?"

Blaine glanced back at Santana who hadn't moved a muscle. He wondered if she was watching him beneath her glasses. It was unnerving to know he was probably being watched but he couldn't see her eyes. "It wasn't easy," he admitted. "My mother took a while to accept it but I think she's gotten to the stage she loves me regardless. But my Dad…I'm not sure he'll ever be totally okay with it. I told Kurt that my father made me fix up a car because he thought it would make me straight. The fact that my boyfriend works is the son of a mechanic seems so ironic because he thought it was so 'masculine' and 'macho' and yet Kurt likes to get his hands dirty and still wear the latest fashions. I guess he was pretty mad at first. He told me I was sick and it went against his religion and I wasn't to talk about it again. I think being shipped off to Dalton was good though. It gave him a chance to acknowledge it and accept it, and I felt a lot safer than at my old school."

Santana was quiet for a long time. "You were bullied too?"

"Totally. I didn't have the one or two guys to fear like Kurt does. I had most of my school against me once they found out. I was terrified at McKinley's Prom because I got beaten up at a Sadie Hawkins dance. I was so scared and I didn't know what might happen at McKinley. And then Kurt got Prom Queen and it didn't even matter anymore. He was so upset and yet so happy and so _brave_, and I was so trapped by my fear. Dalton has been great in building up my confidence, but I haven't learned to deal with the real world there."

"I don't suppose you know of a sister school for Dalton?" Santana questioned, glancing over at him and cracking an eye open.

Blaine shook his head. "Dalton's anti-bullying policy works because we're more physical. It's not the same at Crawford. Girls are inherently more…bitchy than guys. I mean, we throw a punch and for the most part, the issue is settled. Girls can totally destroy you for months on end with a few simple words."

"Like I tend to do."

"No!" Blaine exclaimed, realising too late what he'd said and knowing what Kurt had told him about her attitude to life. "No, just…can you imagine being at a school of only girls? It would be horrific."

Santana snorted and turned her head away from him. "Not for a lesbian, but maybe for the gay hobbit boy."

"Hey!"

"You admitted it was true."

He sighed and gazed at her impassive face for a few minutes.

"Thanks though. For telling me," Santana said quietly.

"No worries. I know I'm Kurt's boyfriend but that doesn't mean I don't care," he said awkwardly.

"I told you. Our lives are separate," she repeated.

He rolled his eyes, reaching across the distance between the chairs to touch her arm. She turned her head to look at him again. "Yeah, separate, whatever. But whatever way you want to look at it, you're Kurt's friend. Whenever the dynamic is off with someone, he picks up on it and he worries himself sick. So when he gets upset, I start to fret too. You can say what you like about our lives being separate, but in a roundabout sort of a way, I care about you too."

Santana hummed and Blaine went back to staring at the sky and feeling the heat of the sun seep into his bones. There was silence until Blaine heard footsteps approaching.

"If you get skin cancer, I'll kill you myself," Kurt quipped, sitting at the end of Blaine's chair with a plate of sandwiches and fruit. Blaine smiled, propping himself up to kiss his boyfriend.

"I put on your SPF 50+ sun cream stuff. If that doesn't keep me protected, then nothing will," he smiled, biting into a strawberry.

"Oh please, I'm going to go vomit now. Your sugary sweetness will give my perfect teeth a cavity," Santana moaned, slipping on her sundress and flip-flops to go and find some food.

"Is she okay?" Blaine asked as he watched her walk away, nibbling at a piece of pineapple.

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You are not getting this bisexual rubbish back, are you?"

Blaine watched as Santana walked into the house. "No, I just think she needs a friend."

* * *

><p>Blaine fiddled with the edge of his coffee cup, avoiding Kurt's gaze. Kurt was babbling on about Rachel's deplorable fashion sense, <em>again<em>, and how she and Finn had already gotten a solo and it was only a week back and it wasn't _fair _and Sam had left McKinley to go back to Texas with his family because they couldn't survive in Lima anymore and now they were one person short _again_ and Karofsky had actually been pretty nice to him, probably because Azimio had been arrested during the holidays for breaking and entering and theft, which led to assault when the couple came home, and now he was locked away and as much as he admired Sue Sylvester, he felt she was plotting some sort of evil rampage that he was fearing and Kurt's next assignment for Glee Club was to perform _naked_ and wait, what?

"Naked?" Blaine exclaimed.

"Ahh, so you were listening," Kurt smirked, taking a sip of his latte.

"Just distracted a bit," Blaine said, pushing his half-empty cup of coffee away.

"What's wrong?"

Blaine scratched behind his ear at a loose curl. "What would you think if I transferred to McKinley?"

The expression on Kurt's face was similar to when Blaine had first declared his love for Kurt. Somewhere between about to choke on his sip of coffee and trying to process everything, ultimately forgetting he had a mouthful to swallow.

"You…_what_?"

"Me. At McKinley," Blaine broke it down. "You said you're one short for competition. The Warblers can replace me. I can't run forever, Kurt." He looked at his hands for a brief moment. "I realised at your Prom last year that Dalton isn't preparing me for the real world. I'm being sheltered and I need to learn to accept that I'm gay and accept that not everyone else will be happy with it but it's nothing to be ashamed of or sickened by. It's only one year but with you there, I'm sure I can manage it."

"What happens if we break up?" Kurt whispered nervously.

Blaine reached across the table to capture Kurt's soft hand in his own. "Remember how you said you'd never let go of me when you returned to McKinley?" Kurt nodded, eyes shiny. "That goes both ways, Kurt. I'm not letting go of you either."

Kurt gripped Blaine's hand tightly, a shy smile playing on his lips. "I…well, I'd never say no to seeing you every day at school again."

Blaine smiled. He had missed the stolen looks in corridors more than he wanted to admit.

"What about your parents though? And where would you stay?"

Blaine shrugged. "My parents won't care. They just want me to be happy now. I'm sure I can find an apartment or something. It'd be cheaper than Dalton which would probably make them happier still."

Kurt fought back a grin. "You'd really do it?"

"Of course I would," Blaine replied with an eye roll.

Kurt squeezed his hand. "_OhmyGod_, I need to tell Mercedes. She's going to be so glad for a white boy that can actually _sing _because she's so sick of Finn not being able to hold his notes properly and Sam's gone and Puck can end up in juvie at a moments notice and Mike can't sing and Artie can't dance so we're sort of desperate for like, a perfect male lead who can sing on-key and dance and oh my _God_ you're actually coming to McKinley an-"

Blaine only half-listened to Kurt. He had been thinking about transferring for a while. He'd talked it over with Wes and David last year regarding what the Warblers would do if he left. They'd all agreed that the a capella singers would struggle for a little while, but it was never going to be the end of the world. And really, Wes had reminded him, what Blaine wanted to do and would make him happiest was what mattered the most.

Yes, Blaine thought he had made rather a good decision. He'd talk to his parents about it tonight.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Congratulations, you have reached the end of the first chapter of one of my babies! I've been working on this fic a while, even though it's not too long compared to my other baby. Just a reminder about the warnings at the top that it does get very dark and angsty, so please be careful if you are triggered by such things!

Thank you for reading! I would love to hear your opinions! xx


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 2,189  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ in later chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>The dynamic with Blaine in New Directions had transformed the club. At first, Finn was a bit pissed at being overlooked so many times but he had to concede Blaine had a better voice and dance ability, and he was able to match Rachel instead of him being drowned out by her superior vocals. He also knew Blaine was very much attached to Kurt and that Rachel was totally into Finn, no longer harbouring any feelings towards the curly-haired, very much gay male. So Blaine wasn't a threat to his girlfriend which was a change.<p>

Mr. Schue had brightened considerably, giving more freedom to the club to choose their own music and allowing more varied solos rather than always giving things to Finn and Rachel. It was a refreshing change and Kurt was incredibly glad for the opportunities he now had thanks to the transfer of his boyfriend. Although, if he thought about it, he should have been able to convince Mr. Schue before Blaine transferred due to his own talent, but whatever. At least he was being listened to now.

And Blaine…Blaine was adapting. The inability to jump on much furniture was frustrating. The addition of actual music was a bit challenging at first as well, because he was so used to the boys behind him adapting to whatever he did. He kept expecting The Warblers to pop up behind him, striking up a familiar formation and adding in their a capella voices. He had been slushied a few times, mostly by members of the hockey team, he thought. Karofsky hadn't given him any trouble and he'd learned to carry a towel and a change of clothes with him, after Kurt had lent his own change of clothes to Blaine on the first day, which he had to admit made him feel far too uncomfortable because they weren't _his _clothes. Although they smelt like Kurt. Definite bonus. And Kurt kept checking him out and winking. Definite, definite bonus.

The workload was greatly reduced, another bonus. Spending hours per night on Dalton homework had never been his greatest joy and he was glad for the spare time. His parents had been fine with the move. In fact, his father had muttered something about a normal school would make him normal and maybe he'd meet a girl. Blaine had kept silent, and his father had tried to pass it off as a joke but Blaine wasn't so convinced. His father was well aware of his relationship with Kurt so the statement was unnecessary. But they'd set him up in a decent two bedroom apartment (two bedrooms in case anyone came to stay, or as a study, or a rehearsal room, or anything really…you could always use the space, according to his mother) not far from McKinley and although it was sparsely decorated, something which annoyed Kurt to no end, it was homey and warm and he felt safe here. He had downtime and privacy, something that was sorely lacking at Dalton with roommates and doors which weren't fitted with locks. And he had set up his keyboard in the corner of his living room, rehearsing Glee club music or trying out something different that he might present for a Glee assignment. So many ideas, so much time. Bliss.

The lack of parental supervision was why Kurt and Blaine were having a rather heavy make-out session on the sofa in Blaine's living room on a Saturday several weeks into the semester. It had started out innocently enough. Blaine spooning Kurt as they watched _Finding Nemo_ and Kurt gently twisting his fingers through Blaine's, holding their hands against his heart where Blaine could feel the soft _thud thud thud_ against his ear. Both Kurt and Blaine had agreed that although there was privacy, that didn't mean they were going to rush their relationship forward. It was somewhere around Marlin and Dory swimming with the turtles that Kurt had rolled over to face Blaine and kissed him gently. Pulling him closer, Blaine had untangled their hands and pressed his into the small of Kurt's back, moulding their hips together. Kurt had taken the opportunity to slide his fingers into Blaine's hair and deepen the kiss and then somehow the two of them altered their positions and that's how Blaine ended up with Kurt hovering above him, his tongue doing deliciously sinful things to Blaine's mouth.

Blaine moved his hand into the back pocket of Kurt's jeans, swallowing the moan that bubbled from Kurt's mouth. He ran the hand across Kurt's ass and felt Kurt shiver and then Kurt's nimble fingers were abandoning Blaine's hair to stroke down his neck, his chest, across his stomach. And then where Kurt's fingers had been, Kurt's mouth replaced it, sucking soft and warm across Blaine's throat. Kurt nudged the buttons on Blaine's shirt, blinking hopefully at Blaine who nodded desperately as he pulled at Kurt's shirt and delighted in the soft skin of Kurt's sides. Kurt whimpered and began fiddling with the buttons on Blaine's button-down.

_You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream…_

Blaine groaned and fumbled around for where his cell lay abandoned on the floor.

"Yes?" he snapped, trying to bat Kurt's hands away so he wouldn't be distracted. He swallowed, trying to get rid of the husky quality to his voice.

"Blaine?"

"Santana?" He raised confused eyes at Kurt who shrugged, sitting back on Blaine's thighs and watching his boyfriend.

"_Jesus_, I don't even know why I'm calling you. I could have called Quinn or Puck but I called you and I feel like an idiot and I sho-"

"Santana, what's wrong?" Blaine interrupted.

He heard a broken sob over the line. "I told my parents. I c-came out. Dad…_oh God_, _Blaine_…my father kicked me out."

"Oh San," Blaine breathed and Kurt raised an eyebrow. Blaine just shook his head as he ran a hand through his hair.

"I've got some clothes and he let me take my school work and laptop and car but he told me not to return again," Santana's voice cracked. "I don't know what to do. Where am I going to go?"

"Come here," Blaine said automatically. "I've got the spare room. You can stay here."

"I couldn't!" Santana insisted even as she sniffled. "I told you at Rachel's. Our lives are separate."

"God Santana, shut _up_. I'm part of your Glee club now. I go to your school. I have a perfectly good room for you to use. Get your little Latino butt to my place. The bed will be made by the time you get here," Blaine said firmly.

Another sniffle. "I'll be there soon. Thanks." She ended the call and Blaine sighed as he set his phone on his chest.

"What's wrong with Santana?" Kurt said immediately.

"She got kicked out. She's going to crash here for a while. Sorry," Blaine said, seeing Kurt's face drop. "She had no where else to go."

"You're too good for your own good, Mister Anderson," Kurt said, dropping a soft kiss to Blaine's lips.

"Come on, I said I'd have the bed made and we should clean up from dinner and stuff before she gets here."

Nodding silently, Kurt clambered to his feet and pulled Blaine up after him, embracing his boyfriend.

By the time Santana arrived, Blaine had made the bed and Kurt had cleaned away the dinner plates and put on the kettle for tea as well as prepared ingredients for cocoa in case Santana didn't drink tea. The knock was tentative and Blaine moved to answered it.

"Come here," he beckoned her in and as soon as she put her things down, wrapped her in a tight hug. She clung to his shirt and sobbed against his shoulder while Kurt watched anxiously. He hated feeling so goddamn_ useless. _Blaine carefully moved them towards the sofa and sat down, tugging her into his arms again. Kurt sat on the coffee table and rubbed his hand over Santana's back slowly.

It took at least half an hour before Santana settled, pulling away from Blaine's arms and shrugging Kurt's hand away. "God, I'm sorry. I'm not normally like this," she wiped her eyes and stared balefully at Kurt. "I didn't think you'd want to be here."

"You're my friend, Santana. Of course I'd want to be here," Kurt responded softly.

"You'd better not tell anyone," she scowled, her eyes shifting between Kurt and Blaine. "If it gets to Finn, everyone will know within the hour."

"We won't," Blaine answered for them both. "Can I get you something? Tea? Cocoa? Water?"

"Well, it'd actually be me getting it," Kurt said, eyebrow raised. "But I won't poison it."

Santana smiled weakly. "I think I'm good. I just…I need to sleep. I think. It's been an emotional night."

Blaine nodded. "I'll show you where to put your things." He stood and took Santana's hand, giving her the quick tour of his apartment before leaving her to get ready for bed. He settled back onto the sofa and pulled Kurt to his side.

"You aren't making the wrong decision," Kurt said, linking their hands together.

Blaine smiled and pressed a kiss to Kurt's hair. "How did you know that's what I was thinking?"

"You're easy to read. You may as well have a sign that displays your thoughts."

Blaine snorted and tilted Kurt's face to kiss him gently. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Something tells me I'm going to need to visit the dentist for all the cavities you two will give me. Or at least get regular checks for diabetes," Santana said from the doorway she was leaning against.

"Please, you've used the cavity joke already," Kurt retorted as turned to look at her..

"Yeah yeah, whatever. I just wanted to say goodnight," she said quietly, and Blaine glanced at her, dressed in blue pyjamas and her face so pale and vulnerable. "And um, thanks. Again. For letting me stay."

Blaine waved the gratitude away. "Anytime. I'd do it for anyone. You're just lucky you claimed the room first."

Santana cracked a small smile before nodding and disappearing into her room.

Kurt stayed a little while longer but eventually he had to leave to be back by curfew. The two felt their moment sufficiently broken and instead had sat snuggled on the sofa together, relishing the warmth, comfort and security that they loved each other and their parents had been reasonably accepting of their sexuality.

* * *

><p>The next morning felt a little awkward. Blaine had to deal with waiting for the bathroom and then Santana couldn't find the cereal.<p>

"Do you want a lift to school?" he asked when she finished shoving books into her bag. He'd kept quiet about her glassy, swollen eyes. He figured she hadn't slept much. He itched to talk to her but he knew enough about her that he couldn't push too fast.

"I have my own car," she muttered, picking up her keys and staring at him.

"I know you do. I just…" he shrugged and adjusted his belt self-consciously. "I just wondered if you wanted a lift."

"And have people ask how I know you? Why we were together?" she rolled her eyes as she hauled her bag over her shoulder. "If you want to keep a secret, Anderson, you don't splash it over the school the first day that you can."

"Okay, okay," he held up his hands, stepped away from her. "Sorry. Go to school as normal. I'll see you in Glee?"

She shrugged and walked past him without another word. He sighed, grabbed his own keys and headed out to his car. Santana was driving off when he climbed into the car.

"How's she doing?" Kurt said as he hopped into his boyfriend's car fifteen minutes later. Blaine had spent the car ride over trying to sort through all his conflicting thoughts about approaching her and trying to push the issue, versus letting her do her own thing and live her own life.

"No idea," he said, flicking his indicator and driving away from Kurt's house. "She didn't sleep much last night. I heard her get up a few times. She wouldn't talk to me much this morning."

Kurt linked his fingers with Blaine's as they hovered over the gearshift. "She'll be okay. She has us. She can't hide forever."

Blaine wasn't so sure. He didn't know Santana well but he could tell she was defensive and the last thing he wanted to do was make her run from him emotionally when she'd only just moved in. For now, he would let her live with him and try not to be too clingy or hover. He knew _exactly_ how irritating that was when his mother used to fuss over him as a five-year-old.


	3. Chapter 3

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 2,723  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ in later chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>Sectionals were approaching and Santana was oscillating between bouts of crying and being her usual, bitchy self when confrontations with Coach Sylvester or Rachel loomed. Blaine was completely aware it was merely a front because she was far quieter at home: completing her homework at the dining table with him after school, helping out with dinner, watching mindless TV with him. But he wasn't going to bother her in public because he'd once stepped up to touch her elbow in the cafeteria and she'd smacked him before they were even through the front door and then ignored him for two days. She'd later told him to never be near him in public unless she approached him. Something about images to uphold. Blaine had shrugged and agreed so that the tension in the apartment could be removed.<p>

He did, however, keep an eye on her as much as he could even as she remained guarded. She rarely spoke during Glee now, avoiding eye contact with everyone and sitting on the opposite side of the room from Brittany. In fact, most of the time Blaine kept a seat spare next to him and Kurt specifically for her to sit in, which she would silently slide into at the beginning of class with a tiny nod of her head as thanks.

He was well aware that she had kept her friendship with Karofsky, even though it made him a bit uneasy.

"How's Karofsky?" he broached one night over stir-fry.

She raised an eyebrow with a mouthful of rice partway to her lips. "His name is _Dave_."

"How's _Dave_?" he said, the name sounding a little too comfortable as it rolled off his tongue.

She shrugged. "He's good. He…he helps. He's just…_there_. Like, we'll go to Breadstix and sometimes not speak much but there's no pressure to say anything. He kind of just gets when to push and when to let me be quiet." She pushed the vegetables on her plate around. "Besides, no one else in Glee talks to me."

"You don't talk to anyone in Glee," he pointed out. "From what Kurt has told me, you used to voice your opinion frequently."

"Yeah, well," she sighed and stabbed at a carrot viciously. "My opinions don't count for much when no one really likes me. I just stay there because the music helps."

Blaine was already acutely aware of how few people Santana had to rely on, of who she could call friends. Her previous relationships with Puck, Finn, Sam and Brittany had alienated her from Rachel, Artie and Quinn. Mike and Tina were the couple she had nothing in common with. She refused to speak to Brittany. Blaine had caught Brittany sobbing on the steps of school one day and had stopped to ask her what was wrong. The blonde had been hysterical as she had explained that Santana had screamed she hated Brittany and never wanted to speak to her again. Blaine had nothing to say, offering her a hug and promising to try and talk to Santana. But Santana hadn't wanted to talk, telling him to piss off and stay out of her life.

There were times Mercedes could be civil, and others where they suddenly wouldn't talk for days and he couldn't work out what he'd missed. He'd ask both girls and neither would give him anything. And then they'd be talking again. It made his head spin because he'd never really tried to be involved in anyone's personal life at Dalton. And it seemed only Blaine, Kurt and Karofsky were the only ones privy to whatever aspect of Santana's life she deigned to share. And that was far too limited for Blaine's liking.

It was a Tuesday night when Blaine realised how much Santana was struggling. She hadn't been home for dinner so he'd assumed she was with Ka-_Dave_, and come home in a rage, slamming the front door shut and tossing her bag and coat on the floor before storming to her room. The soft click told him she'd locked the door behind her, and he had tried to enforce a 'no locked doors' rule except in the case of the bathroom.

He stared at the calculus homework he had been about to start before deciding it could wait and instead spent five minutes debating what to say to start a conversation. He'd never been good with girls. Not because he was gay. Just because… they worked differently. They thought differently. He didn't fit in with the girls and he didn't fit in with the guys. At least Kurt could be with the girls sometimes. He was the type of gay guy who enjoyed the sleepovers and make-overs and gossip, but Blaine was quieter and more reserved. He just didn't fit with the girls. Sometimes he could manage with the boys when they talked about football but when it was all they discussed…well, it was _boring. _Blaine constantly felt like he was juggling with the idea of masculinity.

Chewing his lip, he walked to her door and knocked when he could hear the broken sobs from inside. He hadn't really heard her since she'd arrived here a few months ago.

"What do you want, Blaine?" she snapped.

"To talk. Or to listen. Or to hug you. To be a friend," he said gently.

"I don't need you! I don't need anyone!"

He sighed. "That's not true, Santana. I'm here. Please, can I come in?"

"Go away!" she screamed and he rubbed his face before sliding down against the door and resting the back of his head against the smooth wood.

"I'm going to stay here and support you from where I am then," he said. "Although I'll admit the carpet and the door aren't the most comfortable, I'll do it for you anyway. I just want to help. I won't judge you. I just hate hearing you hurting."

He could still hear her soft cries from inside and his heart ached. He knew she was so alone, and so scared, and he knew that she wasn't the bitch she pretended to be. There were a few clattering noises and a muffled curse from inside. He waited patiently until she unlocked the door to let him in.

"I…I'm going to unlock it…" Santana mumbled, and Blaine shifted away so he didn't fall over when she opened the door. He heard the latch click and she peered nervously out, her eyes dropping when she located him on the floor.

"Can I come in, San? Please?"

She opened the door wider and walked away, so Blaine got to his feet and stepped inside. Her room was still pretty bare but it was at least lived in. And she was neat. Not like some crazy, messy person with stuff all over her floor. He watched as she curled up against the bed frame and wall and he sat on the edge of the bed.

"What happened?" he asked gently.

"I was at Breadstix with Dave a-and Brittany and Artie turned up. She just looked so _sad_ and she tried to say sorry. She w-wanted to know what she'd done wrong because I won't t-talk to h-her and I just…" She looked down at her shaking hands. "I couldn't do it. I walked out and D-Dave tried to grab my arm to stop me but I…I yelled some really h-horrible things at him in the carpark and..." She looked up at Blaine, eyes shining with tears even as they trickled over her cheeks. "W-what if he never talks to me again?" Blaine edged towards her and touched her knee gently. "And then I…I don't know why…I called h-home…I just wanted to hear Daddy…and he…he let loose and I just f-feel so shitty and worthless…"

Blaine reached for her shoulders as she began to cry again and he moved closer to pull her against his chest. His fingers slipped through her hair and slowly, _slowly_, she calmed down. He reached for her hand and linked their fingers together.

"I can't say it'll be okay, because I honestly don't know." He rested his cheek against her hair and squeezed her hand. "But you aren't alone. You're never alone, San. You always have Kurt and me."

"I'm such a s-stupid fuck though. H-how can I expect Brittany to love me when I can't even love myself?" she said miserably, wiping her face on her knees.

"Hey now. None of that." He hugged her tighter and closer. "I adore you, in a completely platonic way. I know Kurt cares so much for you. I think he's just a bit afraid of showing it sometimes because he's not sure how you'll react," he paused and stroked his thumb over hers. "And Karof- _Dave _loves you. I know he might be hurting right now from whatever you said, but he's your friend and he'll calm down. You'll both be cool in a couple of days."

Santana shook her head and stared up at him tearfully. "You don't get it, Anderson. I'm feeling totally fucking alone. I thought I'd always have Britt or Cheerios. I though Puck would always have my back but I can't…" She frowned, thinking over the words. "I don't want to deal with anyone anymore. I'm sick of dealing with everyone's bullshit. I want it to all go away. It hurts, Blaine. It _hurts_," she whimpered.

Blaine felt his stomach twist with nerves. "How do you want it to all go away?" he asked cautiously.

Santana looked away. "You _know_. You aren't that stupid, hobbit."

"Suicide is _never_ the answer, Santana." He felt panic starting to seep into his veins and vowed to watch her closer. She hadn't survived this long to let go so easily. He wasn't going to let her.

She snorted but didn't respond.

He reached for her face to tilt it up, staring into her dark eyes. "It's _not_. No matter how you feel, it's not. Things will _always _improve with enough time."

"Maybe I don't care about time anymore," she whispered brokenly.

He was running out of words to say because he was getting so scared by what she was saying. He held her as tight as he could and a soft kiss to her forehead. Her pain was killing her. He thought she had been managing but he was clearly wrong.

"Will you sing with me?" he asked after a long silence.

"What?" She wriggled her head up to look at him.

"Sing. With me. A duet, of sorts." He could hear the song in his head and he wasn't sure it would leave until he'd sung it. "I know a song, but there's not many female lines. But I just…I think it would suit the situation. Maybe. Please?"

She sighed. "Fine. Whatever."

He wasn't really comfortable leaving her alone that night after gaining a better insight into how she was _really_ feeling. Except that after quiet talking of nonsense for half an hour, she had pretty much kicked him out. So now he was laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Kurt had texted him goodnight a while ago but he just couldn't sleep, turning over the lyrics in his head and pondering how on earth he could fix a situation that seemed so beyond repair.

* * *

><p>It had been two days and he had seen Santana and Karo-Dave in the corridors and he figured things must have been resolved when he saw Dave hug her. He hadn't wanted Santana to flip her shit and refuse to sing the song with him though so he had organised it with the band earlier and shoved the music in her hand as they started playing. He saw her eyes widen and mouth open in protest, but he had silenced her with a glare and started singing.<p>

"_You come to me with scars on your wrist,_

_You tell me this will be the last night feeling like this_," he sang, staring her down.

"_I just came to say goodbye,_

_I didn't want you to see me cry, I'm fine_," she responded quietly, weakly, fearfully. Her eyes darted to the others in Glee club who were watching closely, eyebrows raised, glances shifting between them rapidly.

"_But I know it's a lie,_" Blaine finished, launching into the chorus.

"_This is the last night you'll spend alone,__  
><em>_Look me in the eyes so I know you know,__  
><em>_I'm everywhere you want me to be_." He continued gazing directly at Santana, hoping she was getting the meaning behind his words. He'd heard the original so many times and had toned it down to be more acoustic. It worked. It was slower and lighter and more intimate.  
>"<em>The last night you'll spend alone,<em>_  
><em>_I'll wrap you in my arms and I won't let go,__  
><em>_I'm everything you need me to be_."

He saw her eyes fill with tears as she registered their meaning and he held out his hand to her, which she nervously took. He squeezed her hand and pulled her closer.

"_Your parents say everything is your fault,__  
><em>_But they don't know you like I know you,__  
><em>_They don't know you at all_," Blaine sang. He remembered when she had told him about some of the words her father had shouted at her as she threw her things together. He silently vowed that any children he had with Kurt would be loved regardless of their sexuality.

Santana's gaze flickered from Blaine to Brittany and back. "_I'm so sick of when they say,__  
><em>_It's just a phase, you'll be okay, you're fine._" She shook her head as the tears slipped from her eyes as Blaine joined in on the following line and took over the chorus again.

He continued holding her hand as he danced around her, spinning her in slow circles as she fought back the tears with a weak smile.

"_The night is so long when everything's wrong.__  
><em>_If you give me your hand,__  
><em>_I will help you hold on,"_ he looked down at their enclosed hands and pulled her into a gentle hug.  
>"<em>Tonight, toniiiight<em>," he whispered into her ear. He was completely oblivious to the rest of Glee club. All he could see was Santana, the girl who was nearly his height, who lived with him, who had cried in his arms two nights ago and he wished he could take away her pain. As he sang the chorus for the final time, he saw her mouthing the words back at him, her cheeks shiny with tears.

"_I won't let you say goodbye,__  
><em>_And I'll be your reason why.__  
><em>_The last night away from me,__  
><em>_Away from me_…" Blaine murmured the final line, tugging her close again and burying his face into her hair while she sniffled against his shoulder.

"Thank you," she whimpered, clutching at his shirt.

"Never let go," he breathed against her hair and she nodded shakily.

He could hear a smattering of applause and Mr. Schue nervously clearing his throat from his seat, so he let his arms drop from around Santana but refused to let go of her hand.

"Well, that was…um…_different_," Schue said, his eyes moving between the two curiously.

"It's not all true," Blaine said, clutching Santana close, feeling like he was protecting her. "The lyrics I mean. I just…I felt like Santana needed to know that people are here for her."

He saw Kurt give him a half-smile and he nudged Santana to look, and she returned it with a tiny curl of her lips.

"Okay. Well…that was…yeah. I think we might move on to Sectionals things now," Mr. Schue said as Blaine and Santana made their way back to their seats, and Kurt pressed a hand to Santana's knee in silent encouragement.

Rachel was already bouncing out of her seat, bubbling with ideas which Santana tuned out. She clung to Blaine's hand the rest of Glee and Kurt eventually linked their arms together and she tried to draw strength from the two boys holding onto her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **The song in this chapter was 'The Last Night' by Skillet. My darling beta said she loved the idea of it as an acoustic (because it's really more of a rock song) and so I tried to blend that idea back in through pure imagination...

Thanks for reading lovelies! Next chapter is when shit goes down, so just remember, if you might be triggered, stop reading now! x


	4. Chapter 4

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 2,522  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an **attempt**_ in **this **chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>They had creamed the competition at Sectionals and Thanksgiving had passed with a few tears. Santana had abruptly realised a week before the day that she had no where else to go when Blaine told her he was going to Kurt's, so Kurt had invited her too. She had felt rather awkward and Finn had been confused but Blaine had said Santana's parents were away on a month-long business trip and Finn had nodded and gone back to eating his pumpkin pie. Santana had shot him a grateful look which he'd brushed off.<p>

It was now a couple of weeks before Christmas and he had noticed her withdrawing even more. She looked tireder, she was eating less, she spent more time in her bedroom with the door closed, and she never contributed in Glee anymore. Schue had stopped asking her on her opinion and just frowned at her in consternation.

Blaine, on the other hand, was at his wit's end. She was refusing to speak to him and he could hardly force her. He thought that the song had worked but he was frightened by her closed-off nature. At the very least, she abided by the rules of not locking her doors. But that was about it. He wondered if she was even completing her homework because she never sat with him after school to complete it anymore. He was staring to feel panicked by her inactivity.

He arrived home with Kurt after a rather fantastic date, if he did say so himself. Burt had agreed that Kurt could stay the night with Blaine after a very firm talking to which left Kurt so mortified he wouldn't speak for five minutes after they left the house. Admittedly, it had seemed easier to talk him round after he had met Santana and Blaine had quietly mentioned that she was staying with him while her parents were away because there wouldn't be much the boys could get up to if someone else was around. They stumbled in through the door, stamping their feet and pulling off thick winter coats. Blaine could hear the shower going so he settled down on the couch with Kurt, flicking on the TV and not paying much attention as Kurt hovered above him, kissing and touching gently.

"Kurt, Santana's in the shower," he murmured, shuddering as Kurt's icy cold hands slipped under his sweater.

"So?" Kurt said, kissing at the junction of Blaine's jaw and neck beneath his ear, a place he'd learned recently turned Blaine into a quivering puddle of goo.

"So we should at least move this to the bedroom and not in public view of her," he breathed, wrapping his arms around Kurt and pulling him in close for a desperate kiss. When they broke apart, gasping for air, Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and tugged him into his bedroom, shutting the door and pushing Kurt backwards onto the bed. Kurt sank down and shimmied up the bed as Blaine crawled over him, running his hands over Kurt's legs and belly before leaning in to press his lips back to Kurt. He was pretty sure he could kiss Kurt for like, ever, but Kurt had other ideas as he dragged Blaine's green sweater over his head, leaving him in a plain white t-shirt. Kurt slid his short nails down Blaine's chest, grazing a nipple which made Blaine whimper as Kurt's cool hands trailed across his body. It was a strange sensation, feeling like trails of heat were being left behind by hands that were so cold, and yet it was leaving him panting and desperate for more.

He scrambled at the buttons on Kurt's shirt, cursing Kurt's desire for beautiful but complicated clothing as he pushed the sleeves away from Kurt and took in the expanse of pale skin beneath him. He sucked in a breath, touching Kurt's sternum properly.

"Fuck, you're utterly gorgeous," he whispered.

He could see the blush take over Kurt's entire body and he smirked up at his flushed boyfriend. "So are you," Kurt replied, pulling at Blaine's tee and leaving the pair shirtless. It was probably the furthest they had gone in a while, always conscious of Santana or Burt or Finn but right now, it wasn't much of a concern.

Kurt manoeuvred Blaine to lay beside him and quietly, reverently, they stroked whatever skin was available. Kurt learned that a certain place along Blaine's side would make him twitch and his stomach clench as he gasped, and Blaine discovered that placing his warm hands over Kurt's shoulder blades left him biting his lip with anticipation because Kurt felt so protected. Blaine enjoyed Kurt touching his nipples softly while Kurt preferred Blaine palming his stomach and resting his hands low on Kurt's hips.

Kurt climbed on top of Blaine and brushed his erection into Blaine's thigh, feeling Blaine's press into his. Blaine's breath stuttered as he paused in rubbing circles into Kurt's hips with his thumbs, clenching his hands instead. Kurt dropped his head, pressing soft, warm kisses to Blaine's neck and across his collarbone, licking around Blaine's right nipple as he groaned, jerking his hips into Kurt's thigh.

"_Jesus,_ Kurt," he said as Kurt licked his way back up to Blaine's jaw.

"I've never been compared to a deity before," he smirked, kissing the edges of Blaine's lips softly.

"You should. Although what you do with that mouth is surely sinful," Blaine replied, sliding a hand over Kurt's lower back.

"What you, _ah_, do with those hands isn't much better," Kurt said shakily as Blaine felt his way up Kurt's spine.

Blaine was about to respond when he realised the pipes were still crackling, indicating the shower was still on. "Kurt, how long have we been home?"

Kurt shrugged. "Maybe a half hour? I don't know. It's hard to keep track."

"Santana has been in the shower more than half an hour?" Blaine said, sitting up. "She's never in there more than fifteen minutes, even when she washes her hair."

"So?" Kurt said, not understanding.

"I don't know. It's just not normal," Blaine grabbed his t-shirt. "I'm just going to check on her. I'll be right back."

He kissed Kurt quickly and darted out the door. He knocked on the bathroom door and got no response. His heart started thumping faster. This wasn't right…

"Santana?" he called. "Look, I know you're in there. Is everything alright?"

Silence.

"Santana?" he repeated, banging on the door louder. "_Santana_, open up!"

Still silence.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit," he swore, racing into the kitchen for something he could snap the lock open with.

"She's not responding?" Kurt said from the kitchen doorway, eyes wide and pulling his shirt back on.

"No," Blaine replied, darting back with a knife and trying to jimmy the lock unsuccessfully.

"Stand aside," Kurt said and Blaine moved, eyebrow raised. Kurt kicked at the door and the flimsy lock gave way.

"_Fuck_! Kurt, call an ambulance!" Blaine screamed, falling to his knees to scoop up Santana as he grabbed a towel off the rack to press against her wrists.

He could hear Kurt talking fast in the background and Blaine could barely see Santana's chest rise and fall and there was so much, so much, _so much_ blood.

"Don't do this, Santana. You told me you wouldn't…I thought we had a deal…_fuck_, why did you do this?" he babbled, trying not to start crying and pressing the towel firmer. "I'll fucking kill you myself."

"That would defeat the purpose," Kurt said quietly, shutting off the water in the shower.

"Such a fucking idiot," Blaine whispered and Kurt wasn't sure who Blaine was referring to.

"Raise her arms. It'll slow the blood," Kurt interrupted, and Blaine obediently raised Santana's arms. The towels were already starting to get extremely bloody and Blaine knew that she was losing too much He didn't think wrists were meant to bleed this much. He vaguely remembered a Wes telling him once that slitting one's wrists wasn't a very successful method of attempting suicide because it was so much slower and family or friends usually found the person. But the tiny movement of Santana's chest and all the blood around him was scaring the shit out of him and he clutched her arms, sobbing and praying that it wasn't too late.

* * *

><p>Blaine, with all his smiles and charm, managed to convince the nurses that he was Santana's step-brother and she was living with him and therefore refused to leave her side all night. One of the nurses had set up a cot in the corner for him but he had remained next to Santana's bed, holding her hand and eventually fell asleep on the edge of the bed. Unfortunately, Kurt had had to leave soon after the doctor told Blaine that Santana would be fine and with a soft kiss to Blaine's cheek, had said he would cover Blaine at school as long as was necessary.<p>

Blaine was roused by the movements of a nurse who had bustled into the room and made a little too much noise to his sleep-deprived ears.

"The sedatives should be wearing off soon enough," the nurse said kindly and Blaine tried to smile but honestly, he was terrified of what Santana might say or do when she woke. The nurse ducked her head and disappeared again and Blaine held Santana's small hand and waited.

He waited about a half hour before Santana groaned softly and her eyes fluttered open, creasing with confusion before her gaze fell on Blaine.

"_Fuck_," she breathed, eyes wide.

"About right. What the fuck were you thinking?" He saw her wince and realised it was probably a harsh question but he had been so scared and there had been so much _blood…_

"I'm so sorry."

"Not good enough," he snapped, and she flinched, removing her hand from his and looking away at the window. "What the hell were you thinking? Tell me, San or I'll…I don't even know. I'm so angry with you right now."

"I just…" her voice cracked and he saw her chest shudder with a sob. "I didn't…it hurt. I didn't…want to hurt anymore."

"What's 'it'?"

"Everything!" she gestured wildly. "_Everything_, Blaine! I got kicked out of home and I've got absolutely no friends and everything fucking _sucks_ and I just couldn't do it anymore. I wanted the pain to go away!"

He looked down at his hands, ashamed, helpless, frustrated, lost. "You have me, and Kurt. And Kurt's family."

"It's not enough!" she said as she dissolved into tears. "I want _my _family back. I miss my daddy. I just want to be normal again. I just want Britt to be my best friend. I want to sleep in my own bed. I just…" she broke off, covering her mouth with her hands as she sobbed.

Blaine climbed into the bed, gently pulling her against his chest as she clutched at his shirt, crying weakly. He cradled the nape of her neck and held her close, trying to protect her. From what, he wasn't sure. Herself, her family, Brittany, the world…

"What made you…try?" Blaine questioned.

"I…I called home," she mumbled, bunching Blaine's shirt in her hands.

"You _what_?"

"You heard me," she tried to take a deep breath in through her congested nose and released a shaky breath. "I just…I don't even know. I wanted to talk to someone. It's nearly Christmas and I miss home. And my father answered and he…was awful and I…I…" she stumbled over her words.

"Why did he take it all so horribly?" he pressed softly. She trembled in his arms and he held her tighter.

"He's a total fucking homophobe," she frowned. "Apparently I had an uncle who was gay and the family tossed him out and cut him off."

"What happened to him?" Blaine asked as he ran his fingers through her hair.

"He killed himself," Santana muttered, and Blaine inhaled sharply.

"You never thought to tell me this _before_?"

"I knew you'd freak out even more than you already were," she whispered, wiping her eyes. "And when I called and he started talking…I didn't know what to _do_. I knew you were out with Kurt and I wanted _you, _not Dave, but you were out and I just needed the pain to _stop_…"

"San," he said softly, grasping her chin and tilting her face up and tenderly wiping away her tears. "I don't care if I'm with Kurt, his family, my family, in fucking London. You call me any time, _any time_," he repeated firmly, "you feel like that again, okay?" He paused and kissed her forehead gently. "I mean, obviously I'm hoping it won't happen again but if it _does_, I never want to get a call that you've hurt yourself, much less have Kurt break down a door and…and see _that_ again…"

"Oh God, Kurt saw it too?" she whimpered, fresh tears trailing over her cheeks.

"He called the ambulance and told me what to do," Blaine admitted, cuddling the girl tighter. "He's covering for us at school. No idea with what but don't worry about it right now."

"What if he tells-"

"He won't," Blaine said. He knew Kurt. He knew Kurt would come up with a story and they'd accept it. "We've kept our promise about you moving homes and everything. He won't tell, San."

Santana nodded and trembled in his arms. They sat in silence for a while, Blaine comforted by her warmth and _life _and her by being in someone's arms and just being held and safe.

"Good morning, Miss Lopez. How are you feeling?" a doctor bustled in, barely batting an eyelash at the closeness of the supposed siblings and glancing at her chart.

"Um…okay I guess," she mumbled.

The doctor hummed, scribbling something on the paper in front of him. "We're going to need to get you a psych eval, and I'm sure I don't have to explain why. Until then, you're going to have to stay put with your brother."

Santana glanced between the doctor and Blaine with an eyebrow raised but Blaine shook his head. She sighed. "Fine."

"Wonderful. I'll go chase up someone from the psych ward," he said and exited the room.

"_Brother_?" Santana squawked once the doctor had left the room.

Blaine shrugged. "Needed to come up with some excuse why I couldn't leave you. It seemed like the only plausible one."

Santana shook her head and pressed her face back to Blaine's chest, soothed by his rhythmic heartbeat. "Thank you. For staying."

"Always," he replied. "Just remember to call me next time, or I'll smack you six ways from Sunday."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 2,553  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ some chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>"Kurtie, why is your dolphin not here?" Brittany exclaimed as she pushed Artie into the choir room.<p>

"He's sick," Kurt replied quietly, picking at his fingernails so he could avoid her gaze.

"Oh," she took a seat next to Kurt and waited for Mr. Schue and the rest of the Glee club to wander in. "I didn't know dolphins got sick."

Kurt nodded and dug his fingers into the palm of his hand. He knew Santana was awake and Blaine was with her but it didn't make things easier. Attending his own classes, participating, pretending everything was okay while picking up work for the two was hardly a cheerful assignment.

Everything was fine for about twenty minutes, as Rachel discussed her desire to sing Christmas songs at a special assembly. Mercedes was insisting it was a bad given the riot that had occurred last time when they had performed '_Toxic_' but Quinn was arguing that it was _Christmas songs_ and what sort of riot could possibly occur from _that_?

"Where's Santana?" Brittany suddenly piped up, her lilting voice breaking through the chaos of Glee club. The others glanced around and suddenly became aware of her absence. Kurt gritted his teeth.

"That's not important right now, Brittany," Rachel waved it off. "What is important is that I-"

"_Where's Santana_?" Brittany shrieked, shocking Rachel into silence. Artie placed his hand on hers in an attempt to quieten her.

"I'm sure she's just sick or something," Finn shrugged.

"Blaine's sick too," Brittany said, glancing at Kurt who was pointedly staring at the floor. "Are they sick together, Kurt?"

He could feel their eyes, burning into head. Every single one of them was looking at him. "Yes, Britt."

"Why are they sick together? I thought he was _your _dolphin," Brittany said, confused.

"He is mine," Kurt said softly. "But sometimes people get sick because they're friends. Blaine and Santana hung out last week and must have gotten sick with something then."

He saw her forehead crease with confusion before it cleared and she nodded. "I hope I don't get sick if Artie does. I like taking care of people!"

That seemed to end the focus on Kurt and Brittany. Rachel, Mercedes and Quinn launched back into why they should (or should not) do a Christmas medley. Mr. Schue sat to the side, marking some freshman Spanish quizzes. Eventually though, even he grew tired of the arguing and called an end to the lesson, at which point Rachel picked up her things and merely continued her rant to Mercedes about all the solos she would get and why it was such a good idea, Quinn trailing and rolling her eyes.

Kurt was quiet, hauling his bag over a shoulder and cringing at how heavy it was from the work of three people. He left the room and nearly ran into Puck skulking outside the door.

"So what's _really_ going on?" the mohawked boy asked, falling into step with Kurt.

"I have no idea what you're asking, Noah," Kurt said dismissively, hoping to get away, hoping he could avoid this.

"With Santana and Blaine. Don't bullshit me," his hand touched Kurt's arm. "Brittany might be an airhead who accepts simple explanations but Santana's my girl."

"Oh really?" Kurt whirled on him, hands bunched and eyes blazing as he shrugged off Puck's stupid arm. "If she's _your _girl, how come she spends all her time with Blaine, or me, or Karofsky? If she's _your _girl, how come you haven't asked her how she is in _months_? If she's _your _girl, how come she feels so fucking alone?"

Puck stared, because Kurt never swore and he was kind of so right that it hurt. "But she knows I'm h-"

"Here for her?" Kurt laughed, cynical and anguished and angry. "Like _fuck _you are, Noah. Now get out of my way."

It didn't matter if Kurt had grown several inches in the past few years. He was still smaller than Puck who played on the football team.

"Kurt," he said, grabbing the smaller boy's shoulders, turning him around and holding him in place. "What's happened?"

And something in Kurt snapped, his face creasing as his emotions crashed over him. Puck stared for a moment before awkwardly pulling him closer and patting his in a way he hoped was soothing. Kurt was mumbling under his breath and Puck tried to hear it but it seemed like nonsense and gibberish so he just stood, arms around the smaller boy and waiting for the tears to pass.

As bizarrely as it had started, Kurt was moving away and wiping his eyes, breathing deeply to calm himself down. "Sorry."

"Well, I uh…if I wasn't freaked out before, I am now?" Puck attempted.

Kurt's smile was watery. "They aren't sick," he admitted.

"No shit," Puck replied, starting to walk towards the parking lot while Kurt followed.

"She um…she's been living with Blaine the last few months."

"She _what_?" Puck exclaimed, turning so fast his neck hurt.

"It's her story to tell but um, yeah. She's been with him. And…last night…she…well," Kurt breathed in shakily, eyes trained on the floor. "She's in the hospital right now."

"_Jesus_, Hummel," Puck breathed, running his hand across his mohawk. "You've been holding this all day?"

Kurt nodded, pushing open the front doors of the school and squinting as the sunlight hit his swollen eyes.

"Can I get a ride with you there?" Puck asked.

"I'm not sure sh-"

"It wasn't really a question. I don't care if she wants me there or not. I'm going, and you can either drive me or…well, you're driving me," Puck said, standing at the passenger side of Kurt's Navigator. Kurt sighed and unlocked the car, throwing his bag onto the backseat.

The ride to the hospital wasn't that long but it was made in an awkward silence while Puck stared out the window and clenched his jaw. He had missed out on so much with Santana in the past few months and he wasn't sure how on earth he could make it up to the girl. When Kurt had parked, Puck hopped out and strode towards the entrance before realising he didn't know where Santana was. Kurt led the way up to the adolescent ward and entered while Puck lagged behind, suddenly overwhelmed by anxiety. _Maybe he wasn't meant to be here…_

Santana and Blaine were curled up on the bed, talking quietly and Blaine snuggling the girl in his arms. They both glanced up when Kurt entered and Blaine extricated himself, hugging Kurt tightly and kissing him softly.

"Ugh," Santana muttered under her breath.

"Good to see you too," Kurt said. "At least, you know, not covered in blood."

Santana rolled her eyes at him. "I swear to God, I will rip you apart."

"You wouldn't dare," Kurt shrugged, settling down in the chair next to the bed as Blaine sat on the edge, taking Santana and Kurt's hands in each of his.

"Try me," Santana replied, lip curling.

Kurt sighed at her. "Oh please. You can be as much of a bitch as you want but I'm not falling for that right now."

Blaine sat quietly and stroked his thumb across Kurt's hand soothingly.

"What did you say at school?" Santana finally said.

"I said Blaine was sick, and if anyone asked, that you were too. No one really questioned how or why you were both sick except Brittany but I said it was just because you hung out last week and must have picked something up," Kurt explained and Santana relaxed, but Blaine could see a bit of tension lingering because Kurt was fidgeting with his scarf.

"What is it?" he asked his boyfriend.

"Um…Puck didn't believe me," he said, eyes darting to Santana and away again.

"What did you say?" Santana said sharply.

"Nothing!" Kurt said, throwing up his free hand defensively. "Well, not the truth. Not really. He's…outside. Insisted I drive him here."

"_Shit_," Santana muttered. "Fine. PUCK!"

The boy in question poked his head around the doorway and attempted a smile. "Hey San."

Santana looked at Blaine and Kurt. "Out. Now."

"Are you sure?" Blaine asked warily.

"Get out, hobbit," she snapped and Blaine tugged Kurt from the room, sharing a look with Puck before he left. Puck swallowed and inched towards the bed.

"The fuck, San?" Puck said.

Santana glared at him. "Don't pretend you give a shit now. You've all been absent from my life for fucking _months_."

"And now I'm here and trying to make up for it!" he shouted. "What the fuck happened?"

"I'm gay," she said tightly. "I realised it last year. I love Brittany. And I told her. And she's _still_ with Artie."

He stared at her. Blinked. And blinked again. "Okay," he nodded slowly. "Okay, so you're a lesbian. That's fine. Whatever. How did you end up here?"

Tiredly, Santana peeled the sleeves back of the hospital gown she had been forced into and displayed her bandaged wrists. It was enough. Puck got it. He paled and stepped away.

"You…_fuck _Santana. What the…_fuck_. _Jesus_," he clenched his hands into such tight fists his knuckles were white. She could see his jaw working because the little point at his temple was pulsing. "You tried to fucking _kill _yourself?"

Santana cringed and looked away. "Yes. _Yes_, okay? I tried to bleed out all over Blaine's bathroom floor and stop it all from hurting."

"Stop what?"

Santana narrowed her eyes and pushed the sleeves back down. "You don't get to care now."

"I never stopped!" he yelled, and he knew someone would come in soon to take him away. "I care about you, Santana! I have for as long as we've known each other which is, what, like, eight years? What the fuck made you think giving up was a good idea?"

Santana's face crumpled and she wrapped her arms around her stomach. Puck heard the door open and he felt a hand on his shoulder which he shrugged off but then Blaine was in front of him and his face hurt and his stunned mind slowly processed that hobbit boy had slapped him. Which was kind of a girly thing to do but damn did it then the red tint to his gaze cleared and he could think again as Kurt dragged him out of the room. He caught Blaine wrapping Santana in his arms before the door slammed shut and Puck was left wondering when the hell they had gotten so close and how he hadn't seen it.

"What the hell, Noah?" Kurt shrieked as soon as the door was closed. He could see a nurse at the end of the corridor look up and he shifted from one foot to the other.

"I was mad, okay?" He was fuming, really. "I was hurt and I was scared and she's so damned stubborn!" He turned away so he could pace around the tiny corridor. He could feel the guilt. He could feel the thoughts niggling in his mind that he should have tried harder, he should have talked to her, he should have noticed something had been off the whole year. But he'd been trying to deal with Quinn and Lauren and Santana and he had kind of just…stopped happening at some point. And now he regretted not forcing the issue with her more.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to shout at her?" Kurt said, eyebrow raised.

"I don't know! I'm a male with out-of-control emotions when I find out a friend of mine tried to commit suicide!"

Kurt fell silent and looked at the ground, breathing through his nostrils deeply as he tried to quell the emotions bubbling in his stomach.

"Listen to me, Puckerman," Kurt said in a low voice, and Puck could see the anger still flashing through Kurt's eyes. "You tell no one about this, do you hear me? _No one_. Unless Santana feels it's pertinent, you keep this whole issue to yourself like I wished I could have done until you had to stick your stupid Jewish nose into it." Puck scowled. "_No one_, got it?"

"Fine," Puck growled. "I'm leaving. Tell her I said goodbye. Or something."

Kurt watched as he turned on his heel and walked away, sighing deeply before re-entering Santana's room where she was still crying in Blaine's arms. Blaine looked up at him and mouthed 'Sedative' and Kurt nodded, hurrying off to find a nurse who found some drugs and administered them into Santana's IV as Kurt wrung his hands anxiously.

She soon calmed and tried to glare through sleepy eyes at Blaine. "I know what you…did," she slurred, jabbing at Blaine's chest as he laid her down.

"You'll thank me later," he whispered, stroking her hair off her face as she fell into a drug-induced sleep.

* * *

><p>It hadn't occurred to either Kurt or Blaine that Blaine's apartment was going to be a mess when they returned. The nurses had insisted Blaine go home and get some sleep so Kurt had driven him back and unlocked the door, supporting his weary boyfriend. Blaine said something about needing a shower and it wasn't until he was at the bathroom door that it actually hit.<p>

Wordlessly, Kurt retrieved the bucket and mop from the laundry and filled it up while Blaine entered his bedroom and fell on his bed. He needed a shower but he couldn't handle it right now. And although the sight of so much blood turned Kurt's stomach, perhaps even more so because it was Santana's and she was a friend and he cared so much for her, he scrubbed at it and cursed when some of the grouting remained a dark copper. He kept pouring bleach and cleaning fluids over the spots a few were stuck fast. Kurt hoped no one would notice.

He tipped out the dirty, reddened water and entered his boyfriend's room. Blaine was curled around a pillow, eyes open but sightless, staring at the wall. It broke Kurt's heart and he crawled into the bed beside Blaine, spooning him from behind as he held Blaine tightly to his chest. He could feel Blaine's silent sobs as his shoulders quaked he hummed quietly. Blaine linked his fingers with Kurt's hand and pressed a soft kiss to Kurt's palm in thanks, slowly being soothed to sleep.

When Kurt was satisfied he could pull away from Blaine just enough, he sent off a text to his father that Blaine wasn't well and he needed to stay the night. His father's response was a short "_Talk when home tomorrow_" but he knew his father would rela when Kurt had properly explained. He snuggled against Blaine and the exhaustion finally took hold as he slept.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Apologies to any readers of _Who You Gonna Call? _for the lack of update. I've had a busy week and a scattered mind and just haven't been able to write anything for it.

Thanks to all who read this and review it! xx


	6. Chapter 6

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 3,515  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ in some chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>Blaine returned to school the next day, much to Brittany's delight and dismay. She was glad that Kurt's dolphin was better but didn't understand why Santana was still sick too. She asked if she could take care of Santana like she took care of Artie but Kurt had said no, Santana wasn't really well enough to see anyone right now. Brittany looked terribly hurt but accepted it and turned back to playing with Artie's hair. Puck sat at the back of the room, alternating between fidgeting and glowering. Blaine shot him a warning glance and he caught it, finally smothering his emotions as Rachel walked in and started handing out sheet music for their Christmas extravaganza.<p>

They rehearsed through first period and when the bell rang for break, Kurt and Blaine had never been more grateful to escape the girl obsessed with cheesy Christmas solos. Kurt switched some books in his locker before turning to Blaine.

"Are you seeing Santana this afternoon?" he asked, returning his History textbook and retrieving his notes for Calculus.

"Of course. Why?" Blaine said, tipping his head back against the cool metal and closing his eyes.

"No reason. I just wanted to check," Kurt replied, shrugging and shutting his locker.

Blaine laced his hands with Kurt and they headed towards English together. Part way down the Geography corridor, Kurt was grabbed from behind and forced into a small alcove, Blaine teetering at the sudden change in direction.

"Alright, I let it go yesterday because you were away," Dave said, tilting his head at Blaine. "But now I'm freaked. Where's Santana?"

Kurt glanced at Blaine, unsure what he should say. "She's in the hospital," Blaine said quietly.

Dave swallowed. "She didn't…" he shook his head. At Blaine's questioning glance, he elaborated. "She didn't hurt herself? Please, tell me tha-"

"I wish I could," Blaine murmured and watched as Dave seemed to close in on himself, turning away to punch at brick wall beside him and not even wincing his knuckles split.

"She fucking promised me," Dave growled.

"Me too," Blaine said. Kurt squeezed his hand. "Look, I'm going this afternoon. You can come as well if you want."

"Try keeping me away," Dave scowled. "I've got a few things to say to her, whether she wants to hear them or not."

"It's hardly easy on her right now," Kurt said as he bit his lip.

"Look," Dave said, peering up and down the empty hallway. "This might have come as a shock to you two but I've guessed it was coming for a while. And I had her promise me shit a few weeks back and she broke it. I'm beyond pissed right now but I'll calm down by this afternoon."

"Fine," Kurt said, looking up at his former bully. "But I swear to God if you upset her like Puck did yesterday, I'll –"

"Puck was there?" Dave said angrily, flexing his injured hand as the blood trickled over his palm. "Fucking Puckerman knew before me?"

"He cornered me after Glee," Kurt said timidly.

Dave sighed. "This afternoon I'm going. I'll see you there. Or I won't." He stalked off down the hallway and Blaine let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

"Well, now we're _really_ late to English," Kurt grimaced, pulling on Blaine's hand.

* * *

><p>Dave followed Kurt and Blaine to the hospital. Kurt hadn't really planned on going but he figured that an extra pair of hands may be needed if Dave got worked up again. He was still apprehensive around the larger boy but…he felt they had moved on from the previous year's drama. He knew Dave had been there for Santana. Maybe that was all that mattered now.<p>

Dave walked behind the two, hands balled and lips in a tight line. There were so many thoughts and feelings running through his head. They entered a room and he stopped short, took a deep breath, tried to relax. He counted to ten and stepped inside.

His eyes found Santana and she stared back, her eyes filling with tears as her bottom lip wobbled. "Dave…I…"

But he shook his head, stretching his injured hand again and exhaling. She fell silent and Kurt watched as Dave reigned in his temper. "The two of you," he indicated Kurt and Blaine, "need to get out."

"I don't thin-"

"_Blaine_," Santana said softly, silencing him. Her eyes never left Dave's and Blaine glanced between the two before Kurt took his hand and led him from the room.

Once they were gone, Dave moved to Santana and pulled her into his arms. There were tearless sobs and whispered curses and mumbled apologies as he cradled her to his body and she sank against him. Blaine was a wonderful boy to hug, but Dave was more of a _man_. He was solid and firm and he knew the places to hold her to make her feel secure and she had been so scared of his anger when he found that she wasn't sure what he'd do.

When he leaned back slightly, he cradled her cheek as she chewed on her bottom lip. "What were you thinking, Sanny?"

Her eyes dropped. "I just didn't want it to hurt anymore," she repeated again. "I was so tired of _aching _and _pain _and…I don't know. It just…it seemed like the only thing left."

"It's _never _the only thing left," Dave shook his head. "I thought you were going to call me."

"I was but…" She thought back to what she'd said to Blaine the day before. She'd gotten so upset and she needed _Blaine _because he was soothing and calm and rational. But she couldn't tell Dave that. "I…I don't know what happened…I just got so upset and I just wanted the screaming in my head to stop and I'm not sure who was screaming and…I'm sorry." Her eyes flickered to his. "I know it's not enough. I know it will never be enough. But I'm sorry."

Dave pressed his forehead to hers, his stubby fingers carding through her hair. He cared so deeply for her and to see her so broken made him feel like some sort of pansy-ass for being so upset over it all. He wished he could have been there. He wished he could understand. He wished he could have given her some sort of understanding father like Kurt's. She didn't deserve any of this.

He heard the click of the door and the soft whoosh of air and drew away.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," a small-ish girl in a white lab coat said, eyes darting between them. "I'm here for the psych eval. Santana, right?"

Santana nodded and pressed her lips together. She had been dreading this. She released her grip on Dave and he gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "I'll be just outside," he murmured, slipping past the blonde psychiatrist.

Blaine glanced up at him from his place against the wall. "How'd it go?"

Dave shrugged and slid down the opposite wall from the two boys. "We didn't say much. Words aren't always needed with her. I don't like when she gets riled up and angry so it's easier just to hold her."

Blaine nodded and tilted his head to rest on top of Kurt's, who had his eyes closed and appeared to be dozing lightly on the smaller boy's shoulder.

"Look, I…" Dave glanced down the hallway. "I apologised to Kurt but I never apologised to you I don't think. I'm sorry about…what happened. Last year. I was confused and messed up and I know it really upset Kurt."

"It's okay," Blaine said as Kurt snuffled into his shoulder. He rubbed a soothing hand along his boyfriend's arm. "Well, I mean, it's not okay. What you did really scared him." He looked fondly at the boy on his shoulder. "But I can see you aren't the same person who pushed me into the fence last year so I can forgive you for that. And you've helped Santana this year so you can't be all bad."

Blaine softly kissed Kurt's hair as Dave looked away. He might have come to terms with their relationship and him being gay, but that didn't mean he could stand the lovey-dovey crap of two boys yet.

They fell into silence after that, neither knowing quite what to say. Dave pressed his head back into the wall and shut his eyes, listening to the soft rustlings of the hospital ward: the occasional beep or squeal from a machine, the squeak of doors, the nurses chattering and laughing. He wondered what Santana was telling the shrink. He wondered what exactly had happened to lead her to be here. He thought she was getting better. She'd perked up a bit in recent weeks after she'd told him the hobbit had sung to her. But then this happened.

He must have dozed off because when he felt the hand on his shoulder, he had already gripped the wrist and heard the soft gasp before he opened his eyes, looking at the shrink. He dropped it quickly and muttered an apology as Blaine shook Kurt awake.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," she said quietly, rubbing the injury. Dave apologised again and she waved it off. "I wanted to let you know that she seems to be doing alright, given what's happened. I'm going to recommend she's out of here by the end of the week and continues to see a therapist on an on-going weekly or fortnightly basis for a while." She glanced between Dave and Blaine. "Can you make sure she follows through with that?"

Dave looked at Blaine and the two nodded. "Wonderful," she smiled at each of them. "I'm headed off now but you might see me again in a day or two." She dipped her head and then walked towards the nurse's station.

Kurt stretched his arms and rotated his neck, groaning softly. "I should probably get home. Dad's going to be furious."

"He doesn't know?" Dave asked.

"Not yet. Haven't really seen him and had a chance to explain," Kurt said, clambering to his feet and pulling Blaine up. They hugged tightly and Blaine said he'd call him that night and Kurt gave a small wave to Dave before exiting the ward.

"Shall we?" Blaine said, extending an arm to the closed door of Santana's room. Dave rolled his eyes.

Santana was curled up in the bed, facing away from the doorway and looking out the window. Her eyes were glazed and she looked so small and lost.

"San?" Dave said and she jumped, snapping her head around.

"Stop pitying me. I can see it in your eyes," she said when Blaine opened his mouth. "This is my shit and I got myself into it so now I need to get myself out of it. Blondie said I can go home by the end of the week. That's all that matters."

"What about how you feel?" Dave questioned, pulling up a chair and motioning for Blaine to sit and be quiet.

"What about how I feel?" Santana spat. "Who gives a damn? Puck screamed at me yesterday and I don't want to tell anyone else in freak club."

"You know they adore you."

Santana snorted. "I've been in relationships with most of the boys, which the girls hate me for. Honestly, there's no one who gives a fuck."

"Santana, shut up," Dave said firmly. "I'm here, and Blaine is next to me, and Kurt just left. Puck wouldn't have come if he didn't care and you _know _if the rest of them knew, they'd be here too."

Santana shrugged but didn't respond.

Blaine had never been quite sure what to do with an argumentative Santana so he kept quiet. Dave clenched his hands but stayed silently watching Santana as she kept her back to them. When it became clear that she was done for the day, Dave indicated they should leave. He placed a hand on Santana's shoulder and she tensed before he moved towards the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Blaine whispered, following Dave out.

* * *

><p>As promised, Santana was discharged at the end of the week. Blaine had been in to see her every afternoon after school but she had refused to speak to him or even roll over on the bed to face him. He knew she was awake and, frankly, his calm veneer was beginning to crack under the walls she was building around herself. He silently wheeled her from the hospital and Kurt met them at the car, smiling brightly and trying to look enthusiastic, letting his face fall when Santana couldn't see.<p>

"I'm sorry, I told you what she was like," Blaine whispered as Kurt hugged him.

"It's okay," Kurt replied and let go. "Let's just get her home."

Things with Kurt had been a bit strained the past few days since he had arrived home and pulled Burt aside to explain what had happened. Burt was, naturally, horrified and upset but also still angry with Kurt for staying out with Blaine with little to no warning. But he had been pretty lenient, saying Kurt needed to give him more notice next time, which Kurt assured him he would do, wordlessly tacking on '_If I even can…_'

The relatively short trip to Blaine's apartment was tense and awkward as Santana steadfastly glowered at the window and picked at the light bandages that remained on her wrists. Kurt fidgeted and Blaine tapped his thumbs against the steering wheel absently, which was starting to drive Kurt a little crazy if he was being honest. But he knew it was Blaine's 'thing' when he got stressed so he shut his mouth and continued knotting and unknotting his fingers.

And then they were there and Santana was slamming the door shut and walking up the stairs without a backward glance. Blaine sighed and Kurt slipped his hand inside of Blaine's, squeezing it gently.

"Come on, you know this is going to suck but it's got to happen," he said.

"Courage, right?" Blaine smiled weakly.

"Courage," Kurt replied, kissing Blaine's cheek.

Santana's door was closed when they entered the apartment but Blaine had destroyed the locks throughout the house earlier in the week so they no longer worked. He wanted to claim it wasn't because of Santana, but he couldn't and she knew it. Kurt squeezed his hand again and he knocked on her door.

"Are you decent?" he called.

He took the lack of response as an affirmative and pushed the door open, where Santana had curled up on the side of the bed furthest from the door and facing the wall.

"Look San," he began. He'd rehearsed this with Kurt, he knew what to say, but now he was here and it fell through his grasp like sand. "There needs to be a few changes around here about the ground rules." When he received no response, he sat on the edge of her bed while Kurt hovered in the doorway. "No closed doors, except in the bathroom. You can only use the bathroom for twenty minutes at a time unless you call out to me or say something. You aren't to be alone, except when you want to sleep. There'll be me, or Kurt, or…Dave or Puck with you just to…make sure you're okay. The locks are wrecked so privacy will be restricted to knocking. And I'll take you to and from your therapy appointments every Wednesday afternoon when we've finished with Glee."

He could see Santana scowling and he waited. He knew she would explode eventually. She couldn't keep silent long.

And he was rewarded, five minutes or so later, when she sat up and started shouting. "What fucking right do you have to interfere in my life, hobbit? I could take my shit and leave here, right now, and you couldn't have a say in anything! I don't need a babysitter and I don't need to be babied and mollycoddled and I hate you, _I hate you because you're all perfect and have your boy and I've got fucking nothing!_" She was hysterical and screaming and her nails had been filed down but she was still trying to scratch at her face. "I'm the bitch, I'm the queen of this fucking place and you don't get to order me about when you don't even have the balls to look at me and ran away to Dalton in the first place!"

Blaine sucked in a breath and tried to ignore how much his chest hurt. It was okay, he could do this.

"You know what, Santana?" Kurt spoke up hotly from the doorway. "Take your shit and leave. Get out. Go to…oh wait. Where? Where the hell are you going to go?" He crouched in front of her. "You can't go home, you can't go to mine, you say you've got no one so _where the hell are you going to go?_"

Santana launched herself at Kurt but he stepped sideways and she ended up sprawled on the floor, broken sobs escaping her lips.

"I just don't want to be so alone," she whimpered.

Blaine's heart ached but in an entirely different way now. He watched as his boyfriend wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. "We keep telling you San, you _aren't_ alone. And if you'd just let us show you, you could have the whole Glee club too again." He looked up at Blaine, biting his lip. "This is killing Blaine and Dave and I, and I know Puck is struggling too because it's freaking Finn out and he's wondering if he's a bad best friend and should have played more_ Halo _with him recently," Santana choked back a laugh and stared up at Kurt, who gently wiped away her tears. "Please San, let us in."

Her bottom lip wobbled as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. She cried for losing her family because she had declared she was a lesbian. She cried because she still didn't have Brittany. She cried because she finally had people who _cared _and she was throwing it back in their faces and she didn't even know why they stuck around anymore. And somehow, in all the tears she shed over Kurt's designer t-shirt, she started to let go and accept what had happened and realise that she _did _have Kurt and Blaine and Dave and…maybe Puck. She was a bit scared of that one still. And maybe she could still have Britt and Quinn and Finn. She missed feeling _needed_.

When she felt she had sufficiently bawled her heart out, she mumbled an apology to Kurt and Blaine and Kurt relaxed his arms so she could be cuddled by Blaine. He was so warm and firm and he wasn't Dave but she could smell him and it was the smell that lingered around his apartment, _their _apartment, and it comforted her enough to believe that maybe it would be okay.

* * *

><p>The weekend was been fairly uneventful. Santana wasn't willing to go out so Blaine had offered to Santana that Dave could come over on the Saturday night. Although a bit unsure of letting the boy into his apartment, the way Santana's eyes lit up when Dave agreed led Blaine to believe he had made the right choice. He invited Kurt over and explained Dave would also be here. Kurt had to dig deep for the courage that Blaine kept reminding him of the previous year and picked up the pizzas on the way over.<p>

At first, there was a bit of tension and unease. But then Santana muttered something about a 'big gay sleepover' and Dave was the first to start chuckling and the mood relaxed. Kurt and Blaine curled up on the couch while Santana sat on the armchair with Dave resting his head on her leg. They ate pizza and watched lame Christmas movies that were on early, singing along if they knew the words and pointing out poor editing mistakes. It was relaxing and what Santana needed and when Dave left, she had kissed Blaine's cheek and thanked him before heading to bed. Kurt had smiled and resumed snuggling Blaine before he too announced he needed to leave. It took a while before Blaine would let go of his hips and stop kissing him, but finally he did leaving Blaine to crawl into his own bed, feeling better about Santana than he had in a while.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Approaching the end now...


	7. Chapter 7

**Title:** The Last Night To Be Brave  
><strong>Author:<strong> an-alternate-world  
><strong>Rating:<strong> M  
><strong>CharactersPairings:** Kurt/Blaine relationship, Blaine/Santana friendship, Santana/Dave friendship  
><strong>Word count:<strong> 3,191  
><strong>Summary:<strong> He thinks she needs a friend. She thinks he needs to mind his own business. What she doesn't know then is she's going to need him this year more than she ever could have imagined.  
><strong>WarningsSpoilers: **Angst. There is talk of _suicidal ideation and an attempt_ in some chapters. It's not particularly graphic, but it is there. If you think this might trigger you, PLEASE don't read it!  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I am in no way associated with _Glee, FOX_, Ryan Murphy or anything else related to the _Glee _universe.

* * *

><p>Of course, it was inevitable that there was going to be an incident. Puck had been polite to Santana, with Blaine, Kurt and Dave watching her as best as they could from a distance.<p>

Things seemed to return to normal in Glee, and Blaine was rather surprised when Brittany had squealed and thrown herself at the brunette, who awkwardly patted her back and then pushed her away.

"I'm _so_ glad you're all better, Sanny!" Brittany exclaimed, clapping her hands.

Santana unconsciously tugged her long sleeves down over the bandages and forced a smile on her face. "Yeah, it's not much fun being sick for a week."

"What were you sick with?" Rachel asked, barely glancing up from her sheet music.

"Stomach flu or something. Must have eaten something bad at Breadstix," Santana shrugged nervously, taking her usual seat next to Blaine. Puck vaguely registered that that had happened a few times this term and he realised how unobservant he had been.

"For a week? Wow, that's gotta suck," Finn said as he kissed Rachel's cheek and took his seat. "The worst I had was two days and I don't think I kept anything down. It was _so_ disgusting. Like, this one time, my mom had t-"

"_OKAY _Finn," Rachel said loudly, running over to clap a hand over her boyfriend's mouth.

Mr. Schuester entered and had decided that this week's assignment was to be on _Strength_. At Rachel's indignant noise, he said Christmas songs about strength would earn bonus points. They broke into small groups to discuss ideas and Blaine overheard Tina say something about how hot it was in the room and then the shrieking started.

"_SANTANA!_" Brittany was yelling and Santana had already shoved her sleeves down but it was too. "_Why do you have bandages on your arms?_"

Santana glanced from Blaine to Kurt who were silent and completely useless. She had been so careful but the heat in the room had been unbearable and she had just wanted to slide her sleeves up a bit and forgotten for a tiny moment and...that was all it took, apparently.

"I…had an accident," Santana attempted lamely. All eyes were on her except for Kurt and Blaine who were sitting tensely, hands linked.

"An _accident _to _both _wrists?" Rachel said dubiously.

Santana shifted closer to Blaine who had already angled his chair towards her. "Guys, this isn't the time."

"Santana?" Mr. Schuester said. _Oh great_, Kurt thought, rolling his eyes. "What's going on?"

Santana grabbed Blaine's arm nervously. She really didn't want this. She didn't want this. _She didn't want this._ But there really was no explanation that could be said for bandages on both wrists. Puck crossed his arms and was pointedly looking away and Kurt was completely unable to come up with anything. Blaine slipped his fingers into her hand as she bit her lip.

"Okay, you want to know?" she said suddenly, tearing her hand from Blaine's and pulling at her sleeves. She fiddled with the bandages and stripped them off as she talked. "Here! Look! See! Gawk at the freak who wanted to give up!"

If the Glee club hadn't been silent before, it certainly was now. Kurt was pretty sure you'd be able to hear a pin drop. Blaine hadn't really seen the cuts on her arms since the night it had happened, and there had been so much blood he'd struggled to comprehend anything. But now he could see a good hundred tiny black stitches in each forearm holding the skin together. Rachel looked faintly green.

"What did you _do_?" Brittany screamed. Artie was trying to hold her back but she stormed up to Santana and slapped her across the cheek. Blaine stepped in front of her and pushed her back from Santana who was trembling with hurt and rage. Kurt tried reaching for her but she flicked his hand away.

"I was sick of it. Sick of all of _you_," Santana said, staring around. "Well, except for Blaine and Kurt. None of you have taken an interest in me this year. No one asks how I am. Did any of you know I got kicked out of home a few weeks into the term?" The stunned looks on everyone's faces except for Blaine, Kurt and Puck confirmed her beliefs that no one had bothered. "Yeah. I came out to my Dad. That's right. I'm a lesbian." Finn stared speechlessly, trying to process that he'd lost his virginity to a lesbian. "I told him I fucking loved Brittany and he tossed me out on my ass with only a few of my belongings." Brittany was sobbing loudly and Kurt tugged her out of Blaine's arms and into his lap. She wailed as Santana continued ranting about how she'd been staying at Blaine's and the shit she'd had to deal with, and when she finally stopped to take a breath, she saw the agape looks on the faces around her. "_Fuck_," she exclaimed, stumbling down the stairs and sprinting from the room. Blaine was already running after her and calling her name.

Kurt cradled and Brittany gently in his lap, grimacing at Artie who waved off Kurt's attempted apology. He rolled over to Mercedes and Quinn who were holding each other's shaking hands and placed his warm hands over theirs. Rachel and Tina were holding their respective others, sniffling.

"Come on, Britt. It's okay. She's okay," Kurt murmured into her ear, trying to calm her down.

"She's my best friend, Kurtie!" she hiccupped. "She's my best friend and I didn't know any of this!"

"She didn't want anyone to know," he soothed. "She swore us to secrecy."

"But I still should have known! I knew how she felt about me!" She wiped her eyes and looked over at Artie sadly. "But I told her I loved Artie and…and…" A sob broke from her throat and Kurt held her tighter. "How do I fix this, Kurtie?"

It was the question Kurt had been wanting an answer to since he had seen Santana loaded into the back of an ambulance more than a week ago. "If I knew, I'd tell you," he said softly.

* * *

><p>"Don't fucking touch me!" Santana yelled, exiting the school and taking deep breaths of air that burned her throat and lungs. Blaine withdrew his hand and sent a short text to Dave, tucking his cell back in his pocket. He was so glad they'd swapped numbers last week as a precautionary thing for Santana's safety.<p>

"Well, that could have gone differently," he said ruefully.

"You think?" she cried, hitting at the wall before sliding down. She didn't have her coat and was going to get pretty cold once the adrenaline wore off but she was so hurt and mad and the tears were already freezing on her skin.

Blaine heard the thumping footsteps and moved quickly to intercept Dave before he barrelled down the steps. "The hell happened?" he said when he saw Santana crying.

"Glee. Brittany saw the bandages and now they all know and I wasn't sure I could calm her down on my own," Blaine said quietly.

"Stop talking about me as if I'm not here," Santana growled.

"What do you want me to say, San? What you said in there _hurt_, and it wasn't even directed at me!" Blaine snapped. "But they know and they care and they're your goddamned family!" He usually tried to keep hold of his temper but Santana pushed it with her obstinate nature sometimes.

"I had a family!" she replied angrily.

"Yes, _had_. And you're so caught up in the one that was so quick to abandon you that you're completely blinded to the one that adores you and would accept you whether you're a lesbian, or living with Blaine, or died your hair green," Dave said.

Santana paused. "Why would I dye my hair _green_?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"You're an idiot," she muttered. "Green would clash horribly with my hair."

"I'm Dave, actually. But I guess idiot is pretty accurate," he admitted. "Too many hits to the head."

She threw a handful of snow at him. "So what do I do _now _then?"

"We go back inside, before Anderson and I lose our balls because of the," Dave said, hopping from foot to foot.

"And you apologise and we see what happens," Blaine added, hoping they could go inside soon because he knew Kurt would really rather he _had _balls and they were kind of in danger right now.

Santana stood shakily, reaching for Blaine's hand when she was close enough. He linked them and squeezed it tightly. "What if it's not enough?"

"They accepted me into the group. They accepted Kurt when he came out two years ago. They've accepted the continuous debacle of Rachel and Finn. They accepted Quinn's pregnancy and Puck's stint in juvie and Lauren's attitude. They've dealt with your attitude before now and they'll accept this too."

She bit her lip, shivering with anxiousness and cold.

"Oh for fuck's sakes," Dave grumbled, hauling Santana back inside the warm building. "You mean a lot to me San but I'm not getting my bits cut off for you."

* * *

><p>Mr. Schue had decided to call an early end to Glee that day and dismissed them. Blaine was incredibly grateful because the tension and strain in the room was terribly uncomfortable and everyone was trying not to look at Santana and at the same time couldn't stop watching her. Her withering glares only did so much when her eyes were still red and pufy.<p>

Dave waited by the doorway and huddled around Santana with Kurt and Blaine as they left the school. No one interfered as they left (except for Brittany but Kurt had quietly told her that now was not a good time) and when Blaine parked in his spot in the apartment lot, Santana clambered out of the car and was already fumbling for her cell.

"Who's she calling?" Kurt asked, watching as she ascended the stairs, phone pressed to her ear.

"No idea," Blaine shrugged.

"Her therapist," Dave said knowingly.

"How would you know?" Kurt swivelled in his seat.

"Who else is she going to call?" Dave asked. "The three of us are here. She's not going to call her family. She won't call anyone in Glee. She's just had a stressful afternoon and probably needs to talk it over with someone."

It made sense but Blaine didn't like her being alone for too long so the three piled out and entered the apartment. They could hear Santana talking quietly from her bedroom and gave her space, flicking on the television but not really watching the childish afternoon cartoons. Blaine knew he had some History homework and Kurt had Geometry, but neither could be bothered moving from their place on the couch.

About an hour later, Santana wandered into the room and sank into one of the chairs.

"So I'm going to sing tomorrow," she said nonchalantly, gaze fixed on the TV.

"You are?" Dave said, eyebrow raised.

"Yes. And I know what I'm going to sing. And I want you to be there tomorrow too, Dave." Her eyes flickered to his and he nodded. "I'm going to shut my door and practice a bit before tomorrow. Is that cool, Blaine?"

Blaine allowed her and she disappered back to her bedroom.

"That was sort of weird," Kurt commented. Blaine hummed his agreement as they settled back into watching the mindless TV.

* * *

><p>Mr. Schuester was barely through the door when Santana's hand was up. "Er, Santana?"<p>

"I have a song. And I'm going to sing it now," she announced, already standing and grabbing a stool. She felt a little like Rachel, desperate to start singing and get her point across. But she needed to do this before she lost her nerve.

"Uh, okay…?" Schuester said, taking a seat.

Blaine and Kurt sat holding hands, Dave in front of them. Schue looked at him curiously but he inclined his head to Santana and Schue nodded slightly, settling into his chair. Santana sat on the stool as Brad began the intro to the song. She saw Rachel sit up straighter and wasn't surprised she had recognised the song with her love for _Wicked_. Kurt was frowning as he tried to place the opening bars.

Santana took a deep breath, stilled her nerves and began to sing quietly, her voice breathy and hesitant.

"_I d__on't know just where I'm going,__  
><em>_And tomorrow, it's a little overwhelming,__  
><em>_And the air is cold,__  
><em>_And I'm not the same anymore."_

Kurt was swaying softly with Blaine, having placed the song. It had been part of his rarely-used 'Courage' playlist from the year before. She looked at Brittany, eyes shining.

_"__I've been running in your direction__,__  
><em>_For too long now,__  
><em>_I've lost my own reflection,__  
><em>_And I can't look down,__  
><em>_If you're not there to catch me when I fall."_

Brittany's eyes filled with tears as she comprehended what Santana was trying to say. It was over. Whatever they had. There might be a friendship but Santana was giving up on her love for Brittany. And it sort of felt like Santana's heart was being ripped in half but she knew she had to do this.

She moved her gaze to Blaine, Kurt and Dave who was looking decidedly awkward. Santana glanced at her hands, knotting them together, before launching into the chorus._  
><em>  
><em>"<em>_If this is the moment I stand here on my own,__  
><em>_If this is my rite of passage that somehow leads me home,__  
><em>_I might be afraid__,__  
><em>_But it's my turn to be brave,_" her voice wobbled and she swallowed hard, wiping away the tear that slipped over her cheek._  
><em>_If this is the last chance before we say goodbye,__  
><em>_At least it's the first day of the rest of my life,__  
><em>_I can't be afraid__,__  
><em>_Cause it's my turn to be brave."__  
><em>

Santana fell into swaying with Kurt and he smiled at her encouragingly. She felt like she was baring her soul and the whole Glee club was watching, but she had to remind herself it wasn't nearly as as yesterday had been. Her eyes drifted back to Brittany's sparkling blue ones.

_"__All along all I ever wanted, was to be the light,__  
><em>_When your life was daunting,__  
><em>_But I can't see mine,__  
><em>_When I feel as though you're pushing me away."_

The hurt of Brittany's rejection filtered into the song, but it also worked as a meaning for the Glee club who had abandoned her so badly this year, when she hadn't even realised she was going to need them so much.

_"__Well who's to blame, are we making the right choices_," she looked at her bandaged wrists and shook her head. She'd been such an idiot._  
><em>_Cause we can't be sure if we're hearing our own voices,__  
><em>_As we close the door even though we are so desperate to stay."_

Something about a song with lyrics to do with closing a door struck her as amusing given Blaine's current 'no doors closed in the apartment' rule. She smiled at him and he returned it. He understood. He wanted to hug her so badly as she sang through the chorus again. He could hear how much pain she was in but she was being so brave, _so brave_, and it seemed ironic given the song selection. Kurt squeezed his hand and leaned over to wipe the tears off his face. Blaine hadn't even realised he'd been crying.

Seeing Blaine cry nearly broke her resolve, but she gulped. She had to be brave. She could do this. She needed to let go of Britt and learn how to be strong on her own with the positivity and encouragement and strength of Blaine, Kurt, Dave and maybe Puck if he was willing.

"_And I might still cry,_" she wiped her cheeks again. Seriously, these tears were ridiculous._  
><em>_And I might still bleed,_" she caught a few glances at her bandaged and fought with her automatic reaction to cover them up.  
><em>"<em>_These thorns in my side,__  
><em>_This heart on my sleeve_," her eyes found Brittany's again and she smiled tearfully. It was like 'Songbird' but worse, because now she was letting her go and it _hurt_._  
><em>_And lightening may strike__,__  
><em>_This ground at my feet,__  
><em>_And I might still crash,__  
><em>_But I still believe_," she gave up on wiping away the tears, but she fought to keep her voice steady and strong even as it wobbled. She stood, pacing around the piano to give herself some air and a little distance.

_"__This is the moment I stand here all alone,_" and she was so alone, even as she stood in a room filled with people she might have once called friends. Now, she knew she could only rely on three._  
><em>_With everything I have inside, everything I own,__  
><em>_I might be afraid__, __  
><em>_But it's my turn to be brave_," she hugged herself because the ache in her chest was _burning_ with pain._  
><em>_If this is the last time before we say goodbye,_" she looked from her hands to Brittany and then Blaine. It was goodbye for one, but not goodbye for the other. She needed Blaine. Maybe she always would. Perhaps they could pretend they were step-siblings forever?_  
><em>_At least it's the first day of the rest of my life,_" a tiny smile played on her lips. She was nearly there. She had nearly done it._  
><em>_I can't be afraid__,__  
><em>_Cause it's my turn to be brave__."_

There was silence as Brad played the final bars of the song. Her chest heaved with the effort of the song and how hard it had been, and then Blaine's arms were around her. She had barely managed to wrap her arms around him before Kurt was hugging her, and then Dave was there, and when she tried to push them away, she suddenly realised that the entire Glee club was in some sort of stupidly mushy group hug that she was in the middle of. She wanted to make some biting retort but she saw Blaine's golden eyes looking at her and the words died on her lips.

"You're _so_ brave, San," he whispered, kissing her cheek and she felt fresh tears burn behind her eyes. "And you're never, _ever_ alone because you will always have me and Kurt at the very least."

And now she finally felt like she understood what he had been trying to tell her for months. Her head pressed against his and she breathed him in and felt comforted, needed and _wanted_ for the first time in months.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **The song in this chapter was 'Brave' by Idina Menzel. I absolutely adore it and it's one of my go-to songs if I'm having a bad day.

And I do believe that this is the **last chapter**! Thank you so much for reading everyone! Stay tuned for more stories! xx


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